How Parisienne are you?

I have lived in Paris for three years now and it's hard not to spot certain Parisian stereotypes play out on the metro or in bars and restaurants. And although living here has changed me a little, I don't class myself in anyway as a "Parisienne".

The question is, though, how Parisienne are you? Take the quiz to find out.*

1. You are getting on the bus and the buss pass of the person in front of you doesn't work on the first attempt. Do you:
a) Wait patiently for their travel pass to work. It's probably not their fault, after all.
b) Feel yourself silently tensing in annoyance at the delay/incompetence of other human beings.
c) Sigh loudly making a "pfffffft" sound. This two second delay is really taking the millefeuille.

2. You are at a party, your wine glass is a third full and someone offers you a different type of wine. Do you:
a) Say, "Oh just put it in with the old wine, I don't mind".
b) Throw back the remainder of your wine and hold out your glass to be refilled.
c) Put the old wine aside and get a new glass for the new wine. Only the uncultured English would think to mix their wines. 

3. It's Saturday night and you are getting dressed to go out for dinner then drinks, what do you put on? (this one's only for the ladies)
a) A tight dress and heels. One should always be sexy on a Saturday night.
b) A dress with flat shoes. You don't want to be too much taller than a French man you might meet.
c) Pearl stud earrings, skinny jeans, white t-shirt, ankle boots and a scarf. What else?

4. You are watching sport and your country's team make a silly error. Do you say:
a) "Never mind they'll do better next time". You're a loyal supporter.
b) "Ooh la la". Your team is quite clearly the best in the world and this is quite an embarrassing display. 
c) Huff, puff, throw your hands up in the air and say "Mais ce n'est pas possible?" From now on you refuse to support your country's team until they have improved their game.

5. You've gone to the cinema to see the new big American thriller. The stakes are high, the action is tense, the life of a little girl hangs in the balance and the actor says a mildly cheesy line. Do you:
a) Don't even notice it, you're much too caught up in the action. What's going to happen to the little girl!?
b) Frown silently thinking "Ooh, that's a bit cheesy".
c) Laugh out loud at the cheesiness of it all, prompting other cinema goers to laugh too.

6. Your neighbour is having a mid-week party. It's 2am and they are still dancing to Maroon 5, Moves Like Jagger. Do you:
a) Lie in bed with a pillow round your ears weeping. You've given up on sleep now and resigned yourself to being exhausted at work the next day.
b) Knock on your neighbour's door and politely ask him to turn the music down. Enough is enough, after all.
c) Call the police. You don't want to have to confront your neighbour face to face. You're not even sure what he or she looks like.

7. You're home after a long day at work and you have a headache. Do you:
a) Drink a large glass of water, eat a healthy dinner and get an early night. You're sure you'll better after a good sleep.
b) Have a hot bath and open a bottle of red wine, there's not much that red wine can't heal.
c) Pop a couple of Doliprane. Only fools suffer in pain when drugs are available.

8. You are walking along Rue de Rivoli and someone asks you the directions for Les Halles, they pronounce it "Lez-Alles". Do you:
a) Point them in the right direction, ignoring that they have mispronounced it, you know what they mean anyway.
b) Say, "You mean Les Halles?" with the correct pronunciation. They must learn to say it properly before you will show them the way.
c) Shrug and pretend you don't know what they're talking about.

9. You're driving through town and approach a pedestrian crossing with people waiting to cross. Do you:
a) Slow down and stop to let them cross.
b) Slow down ever so slightly in case they push into the traffic. Speed up at any sign of hesitation from them.
c) Carry on at normal speed. They'll have to wait for a gap in the traffic to cross.

10. You meet someone new to Paris at a friend's party. What are you most likely to say to them about the city?
a) "Paris is like any other capital city really, there are both good points, and bad."
b) "Paris is a nightmare, but worse, are the Parisians."
c) "Paris is the most beautiful city in the world! Don't you agree?!"

How did you do?
Mostly As
Oh dear, you are someway off becoming a true Parisienne. For you, Chevre, is something you do when it's chilly, Gerard Depardieu is the only French actor you can think of, and you don't think dogs should be smaller than a Cocker Spaniel. But all is not lost, the possibility of being a Parisienne is still in your reach. Your Parisienne Prescription is as follows: half a baguette every day for one month (unbelievably this will make you lose weight); make an in depth study of Marion Cotillard, copy everything she wears and does; shun beer, cheddar and milk in tea, they are no longer your friends.

Mostly Bs
You are well on the way to becoming a true Parisienne! You don't make the mistake of ordering bottled over tap water in restaurants, and you know that Metro Line 13 smells the worst. To make further progress, your Parisienne Prescription is as follows: take up smoking, it doesn't matter that it may kill you, it's simply part of the job; invest in a Zara blazer, you may as well be naked without one; watch all Danny Boon films, ideally with a French person so that you're sure of when to laugh. Bon courage, mon amie, you are nearly there.

Mostly Cs
Vous êtes vraiment Parisienne! For you, a cape is a staple of your wardrobe. You don't even need to apply red lipstick anymore, your luscious levres are permanently stained. Get yourself a glass of Pouilly Fumé, light a Galoise, and put a François Ozon film on. You have arrived at full Parisienne-ness.




* Disclaimer: This quiz is just based on my experiences and is just a bit of fun. Please don't take my stereotypes too seriously.